


Memories of What Never Was

by TheOriginalBIbred



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2019-11-04 16:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17901743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOriginalBIbred/pseuds/TheOriginalBIbred
Summary: Living with the mistakes of one lifetime is hard enough, but four.  That is enough to drive most stable person insane.  Malivore is defeated, but now our heroes must live with the memories of lives they both did and didn't live.





	1. Forgotten Truths or Unknown Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Warning this is going to get angsty a lot, but there will be some hope too. Also Lizzie isn't going to come off well for most of this.

Hope’s POV

It’s over we won. Triad was defeated and we even managed to destroy Malivore. We should be celebrating there should be cheering and hugs and other celebration shit, but instead we all puking our guts out. When we destroyed Malivore there was the pressure wave that knock us on our asses. But, that isn’t the reason we are all puking. Apparently destroying something at erases memories the magical blow back makes you remember. And suddenly my head was filled with memories of other lives, of other worlds.

Slowly we all start to get up. Each of us looking at each other wondering if it is just us or do the others remember too. But, we are not the only ones getting up. The remaining Triad soldiers are getting up too. We don’t have time to figure this out right now. Dr. Saltzman tells us we have to go. We all start booking it to the vehicle. Once we get to the vehicle we pile in. We don’t stop driving until we find a motel. Dr. Saltzman gets the rooms, but before we go to the rooms we meeting in Dr. Saltzman’s to figure shit out. Dr. Saltzman is the first to speak.

“Does anyone else remember other worlds?” We all nod our heads. “How many worlds do y’all remember?”

“Three.” Everyone else says at the same time I say. “Two.” Everyone looks at me.

“I only remember two. The first one I never went to the school. The second my dad opened the Mikaelson school. Those are the only two that I remember.” Dr. Saltzman to the lead again.

“You don’t remember the war?”

“What war?” Kaleb jumps in.

“The war with Humans after they found out about us.”

“I don’t remember any of that. Why do I only remember two worlds and everyone else three? More importantly why do we remember other worlds at all?”

“It’s my fault.” It was Lizzie who spoke. I hadn’t noticed how unusual quite she was being or that she was in the corner of the room with her body closed in on itself.

“Sweetheart how is this your fault.”

“A few months back when we still had the urn I got visited by a genie. And I made some wishes.”

“You did what?” The whole room yelled.

“What did you wish for?” It was Penelope who spoke up this time.

“I made four wishes. The first one was that Hope never went to school with us. The second was that the school never existed. And the last…the last was that Hope was never born.”

“How could you! How could you do that!” Josie is angrier than I have ever seen her. She has jumped up from where she was sitting on the bed. She isn’t the only one. Penelope walked over to Lizzie and decked her in the face. Everyone is shocked as to why Penelope of all people did that, but not me.

“I was angry. We had just gotten back from Europe and Dad forgot to pick us up and I blamed Hope.”

“So because dad forgot to pick us up you decide that Hope needs to go. And you keep up the anti until you erased her. What was your fourth wish?”

“The genie would grant another wish unless I gave her the urn so I just wished that she never got sent to Malivore to begin with. Win win for everyone.” Dr. Saltzman comes to her rescue as expected.

“Ok everyone calm down. Why don’t we all go get some sleep and figure this out when we get back to school.” We all agree and Dr. Saltzman divides up the four rooms. “Ok so Kaleb, Landon, Rafael, and MG will be in room two. Hope and Penelope in room three. And me and the twins will stay here.”

“Dad, I’m going to sleep in Hope and Penelope’s room. I can’t be around Lizzie right now.”

“Ok, Honey, I will be right in here if you need anything.” And with that we all head to our rooms.

For a few minutes the three of us sat in silence on the bed. Unsure of what to what exactly to say to say to each other. Josie is on my right and Penelope is on my left. It’s Josie who breaks the silence.

“I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No.” Both me and Penelope say at the same time.

“Well we have to figure out the sleeping arrangement. But, first I am going to go take a shower.” She got up and went into the bathroom leaving me and Penelope alone.

“Look the beds are big enough for two so one of us will have to double up. Josie should sleep with you. She seems really upset and she could use someone.” I figured Penelope would jump at the offer.

“No, she should sleep with you tonight. You probably need someone too. You’re the one who got erased from existence.”

“I’m fine I don’t remember it. And thanks by the way for punching Lizzie you didn’t have to do that.”

“Yes, I did. And you know why.” She’s right I do, but I don’t want to get into that right now and from the looks of it neither does she.

“Still thank you. I know what Lizzie did was beyond wrong, but I didn’t expect Josie to be this mad.”

“You sell yourself short, Hope. You matter a lot to Josie I have seen it. And besides it isn’t just erasing you that is causing this.” She goes quite and peaks around to make sure the bathroom door is closed and the shower is running. “I probably shouldn’t say this and don’t bring it up to Josie tonight, but in that third world Lizzie had an episode and killed Josie.”

“What!”

“Be quite Josie will hear you.”

“Why would Lizzie kill Josie even during an episode?”

“They found out about this Merge thing they are going to have to do. I don’t know all the details, but it is bad.”

“If they remember about the Merge do you think that Lizzie is going have another episode and try and kill Josie?”

“I don’t know. Lizzie’s not the same as she was. But, do be safe we should probably not leave Josie alone unless we have too.”

“Agreed. Now we can’t figure out anything tonight. So lets at least figure out the sleeping arrangements. Like I said the beds are big enough for two. To bad they can’t fit three.”

“No, but if we push the beds together then there is more than enough room for the three of us.”

“That is is brilliant, Penny.” Shit. I can see the look of hurt that crosses her face at the nickname. “I’m sorry it just slipped out.”

“It’s ok. But we can’t talk about this tonight, but soon.”

“Yeah soon.” We get to work pushing the beds together. We just finished when Josie steps out of the bathroom.

“So we are all sleeping together? Ok who is in the middle then?”

“You.” We both say.

We all climb into the bed together. Josie is turned facing me. Curled up so that her head is on my chest. Penelope is behind her with her arms around Josie’s waist. One of my arms is under the pillows and the other is on top of Penelope’s. It doesn’t take long for us to fall asleep.

 

Josie’s POV 

Sleeping between Hope and Penelope was weird to say the least. A good weird though the kind of weird that only feels weird because it shouldn’t feel as good as it does. There are some awkward glances shared between us but other than that everything is weirdly perfect. I don’t know when Hope and Penelope started getting along like this. I mean they were never enemies or anything like that, but they weren’t exactly friends either. They got along mostly for my sake and to spite Lizzie. Maybe something in one of the wish worlds or maybe I just haven’t been paying attention.

On the drive back to the school I am seated as far from Lizzie as possible. I can’t be near her right now. To much happen in those wish worlds and then I found out she caused. Not to mention she did all to get rid of Hope. I like to think I would be as mad as I am now about that if I had found out months ago. But, the truth is I probably would already be defending her blaming it all on her being bipolar. I know that the reason that I am so angry at her for doing that to Hope is because of how close we have gotten.

“Hope.” I whisper so no one else, but Penelope can hear.

“Yeah.”

“When we get back to school could I stay with you. I can’t be alone with Lizzie right now.” Hope takes my hand and starts rubbing circles on the back of my hand.

“Of course. I wasn’t going to let you be alone with her anyway.”

“You know don’t you?”

“That’s my fault.” Penelope whispers. “I gave her the cliffnotes. Figured you didn’t want to talk about it yet.”

“Your right I don’t. Thanks for telling her.” I turn to Hope. “And we will talk about that world later I promise, but not now.”

“We can talk about it whenever you want.” I don’t know what possessed me to put my head on her shoulder but I did. Hope never let go of my hand the rest of the drive.

When we get to school everyone splits ups. Me, Hope, and Penelope stick together, but Lizzie is always a few feet away. Eventually Penelope breaks off and distracts Lizzie so we could get away. We head up to Hope’s room it is too soon to sleep, but neither of us know what to say in the mean time. So I ask her a question.

“So which of the wish worlds was your favorite?”

“Well of the two I was apart of definitely the second one.”

“Superhero Hope. I definitely liked her.” Things got awkward for a second. “Why was that one your favorite?”

“My parents were alive and together.”

“Oh that’s right you said your dad was in Europe opening a new branch.”

“Yeah. It is weird having these memories. I have a whole life were I got the life I always wanted. I got to really know my dad. I still got to go to a version of this school and never had to hide who or what I was. I was able to figure out more about myself than I ever did in this life.”

“Like that you like girls and boys.” Hope freezes for a second. Great did is misread what was happening in that world. Fuck I just outed Hope.

“That I only like girls.” Well I wasn’t expecting that.

“Is that true for this you?”

“Yeah, there was this girl I dated in that world. I don’t want to say who right now; I will tell you eventually. But, I loved her and she broke my heart. And when I compare how I feel about her with Landon, she wins hands down. And to be honest what I felt for you in that world and this one feels more real than what I feel for Landon.” I want to talk about that last part, but I know now is not the time.  
“So what are you going to do about Landon?”

“I know I have to break up with him, but I don’t want him to feel like it was all a lie. I did love him I just can’t love him like that.” Hope is starting hyperventilate.

“Hope take a deep breath. Everything is going to be fine. You seemed pretty happy in that world so I guess coming out went well.”

“Yeah, I always new that my family was going to take it well. I mean my Aunt Freya is bisexual and her wife Keelin is a lesbian. And my family was born before Christianity spread to their home country so being gay was pretty normal. After I came out my dad told me that he ‘dated’ a few men over the centuries.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he told me if he had had more time with Stefan Salvatore, he would have had him in his bed. Not that I needed to know that.”

“Your dad had a thing for my sort of stepfather. Ugh our lives are too intertwined.” She starts laughing.

“I know, but I don’t care. It means I get to know you. I lived two lives without knowing you and both of them improved when I meet you. So did this one it just took me seventeen years to figure it out.”

“Do you remember where we left off in that world?”

“Of course I do. My hand was on your thigh and you were laughing at some lame joke I said. We were getting closer and I was planning on kissing you.”

“I was too. So after everything settles down would you like to continue from were we left off?” I bite my lip this is a big risk. It might be too soon.

“Yeah I would like that. But I am going to need sometime. I need to break up with Landon first and then I need time to sort through my memories. Do you remember when y’all found me in the first world?”

“Yeah you were a full tribrid. Wait do you know how to become a full tribrid?”

“Yeah it is really simple. I don’t even need to die. I just have to drink human blood. One little drink I never die.”

“Do you think you’re going to do it?”

“I don’t know. I want to call my family. And they are going to wonder how I know what I know. And then I am going to have to explain everything.”

“I think they would like to know about that second world.”

“Yeah. I think they would.” Hope starts wringing her hands. “I think I am going to go talk with Landon now. Will you be ok until I get back?”

“Yeah. Good luck. Just remember you weren’t lying to him you just didn’t know who you were yet.” She nods her head and leaves the room. 

As soon as Hope leaves I break down. I know I could have in front of Hope or Penelope, but this is something I needed to do by myself. I died I just need a moment by myself to mourn my own life and my relationship with my sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I couldn't resist making them all remember. Each chapter will be split between two characters. I plan on having everyone's point of view. And every chapter title will be a hint as to what the chapter is going to cover.


	2. Past Mistakes or Future Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More details of our Heroes' other lives start to emerge. And much needed conversations are had.

Josie’s POV

It has been a week since we destroyed Malivore. And for the most part our lives are the same. Except for the part where the nine of us now remember lives that we technically never lived. The rest of the school alternates between congratulating us on saving the world and asking us questions about our other lives. The blow back from Malivore wasn’t widespread, luck for us. We suspected that much when no humans were chasing us with pitch forks and torches. My dad confirmed it later with a call to my mom, who has no memories of the wish worlds.

Things have changed though. Landon is avoiding Hope in part due to the break up, which from what Hope told me wasn’t that bad, he apparently was accepting of Hope’s sexuality and not all that surprised by her feelings for me. But, apparently Landon also got back the memories of meeting his mother. Something Hope had never forgotten, so he is understandably upset with Hope for keeping that from him. Also Hope and Penelope are getting along better than they ever did before, but there is something in the air between something they both clearly want to talk about, but are afraid too.

But, the biggest change is between me and my sister. It is hard to even think about her right know. Even hard to be in the same room as her. And impossible to be alone with her. So I have been sleeping in Hope’s room this week and for the foreseeable future. And I am almost always with either Hope or Penelope or both. Right now I am sitting on the couch by the fireplace waiting for Hope to get back.

“Hey, I found a blanket and I also swung by the kitchen and grabbed some s’more supplies.”

“Great I haven’t had s’mores in ages.” Hope joins me on the couch. She seems nervous for some reason. 

“Hey, would you like to continue where we left off?”

“What are you talking about?”

“In the other world.” Oh, she means…I wondered how long until we circled back to this.

“Oh…Yes I would like that very much. Now remind me where were we again?” Giving her my best flirty smile.

“I believe we were sitting on this couch as close as we could be, laughing. And the last thing I remember is putting my hand on your thigh like so.” She precedes to slowly put her hand on my thigh one finger at a time.

“And I was about to lean in to kiss you.” Hope bits her lip and starts to lean into too. Our lips meet and suddenly nothing else matters. Not the world, not our fucked up lives, not even time. I have no idea how long we kissed for before we broke apart.

“How have I known you for practically my whole life and never thought to do that until this year.” I was about to respond when I noticed we weren’t alone. Penelope was standing in the entry way with tears running down her face.

“Pen.” Hope turns around and see Penelope. And then Penelope bolts out of the room. “Wait, Penelope, wait.”

I was off the couch and chasing Penelope before I could think. I know this must look bad to Hope. I was just kissing her and now I am chasing after my ex. But, I can’t help it seeing her in tears triggers something in me. All I want to do is make them stop to see her smile again. Lucky for me she didn’t run far. I found her in the corner of a room just a few doors down. She has her knees to her chest and she is sobbing.

“Penelope.” No response. “Pen, I’m sorry you had to see that. I know seeing me kiss Hope is difficult, but I’m not trying to hurt you.” Suddenly I can feel a hand on my shoulder. It is Hope. I expect for her to look even slightest bit upset at me, but instead all I see is compassion.

“Jo, let me handle this. You don’t have all the facts.” What does she mean by that? “Hey, Penny can you look at me?” Since when does Hope call Penelope, Penny?

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to walk in on y’all. Or to turn into this blubbering mess.” Finally, she is talking.

“I don’t blame you for getting emotional. Neither of us do. It can’t be easy seeing your exes together.” Wait did Hope just say exes?”

“Exes?”

“I meant to tell you. But I wanted to talk to Penelope first and then I just kept putting it off. It wasn’t fair to either of you for me to do that. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t owe me a conversation before getting together with Josie. It’s your life Hope I am just glad you are happy. That both of you are.”

“Wait I have known you both for years when did you…” Then it hits me. The second wish world. The girl Hope dated was Penelope. “The wish world.” They both nod.

My mind is reeling, torn between shocked and somehow not shocked. I knew there was a girl out there that Hope had dated in that wish world I just thought…I don’t know what I thought. I hadn’t really thought about it, because if I did, if I tried to figure out who it was the answer would have been obvious. Of course it was Penelope. It explains so much every look, every slight touch, and Penelope punching Lizzie for erasing Hope.

Hope has already turned her attention back to Penelope and I ask. “Pen. Are you going to be ok?”

“Yeah, I knew it was coming and I thought I was prepared, but clearly I wasn’t. Don’t worry about me I will get use to it. I am really sorry for ruining the moment.”

“Penny, you have nothing to apologize for. It’s getting late why don’t we all go to bed.”

“Hope’s right. Let’s go to bed we can talk about this tomorrow.” Penelope gets up and heads to her room. While me and Hope go to our room. Our room I don’t know when I started to think of it as our room and not Hope’s but it feels right. We hold hands the whole way there but neither of us say anything.

After we get to our room I want to say something and clearly so does Hope, but neither of us know what to say. I decide to wait to hear what Hope wants to say first.

“Jo, I swear I was going to tell you. And I promise that I am fully invested in this relationship. It’s just this information about me and Penelope is new to me and I needed to digest it.”

“I understand it’s only been a week. We all have multiple lifetimes worth of memories to sort through. And I am all in on this too and I don’t doubt that you are as well. I won’t lie the news that you and Penelope were together in another life was a little shocking. But it also wasn’t at the same time.”

“So you’re not upset or whatever your suppose to feel when you find out you and your girlfriend share an ex?”

“No, I am not upset and sharing an ex is not that unheard of in the LGBT community.” That gets a chuckle out of her and me too. “Do I wish that you had told me first instead of finding out because Penelope walked in on us making out, yeah.”

“Not how I imagined that going either.”

“By the way don’t think I didn’t catch that you called yourself my girlfriend.” Hope’s face looks adorable when she gets panicked and flustered like she is right now. 

“I didn’t mean…I don’t want to assume…uh…” Time to put her out of her misery.

“Hope I would love to call you my girlfriend that is if I can be yours.”

“Yes! Of course you can be my girlfriend nothing would make me happier.” I will never get tried of seeing Hope smile. The one she is wearing right now is definitely one of my favorites.

“Now, you need to go talk to Penelope. And don’t act like you don’t want to. You two need closure and Pen really needs someone right now.”

“You are the best girlfriend ever. I won’t be long. Thank you.” Hope gives me a kiss a small kiss on the lips and before I can deepen the kiss she breaks away and leaves the room. I know it seems crazy to send my new girlfriend to go have an emotional conversation with her ex, but she’s my ex too and I know she needs Hope right now. And I trust Hope and Penelope they wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.

 

Penelope’s POV

After walking in on the loves of my life making out I was understandably emotional. And then I find out that Hope hadn’t told Josie about us in the second wish world. And to be honest I don’t know I how I feel about that. Does what happened in that world not mean as much to Hope as it did to me? Or is Hope trying to forget about it? I know she said she meant to tell Josie, but there has to be a reason she didn’t. I am interrupted from my thoughts by a knock on the door.

“Go away!” I don’t want anyone else to see in this state.

“Penny, it’s me. We need to talk.” This scene isn’t unfamiliar to me. After I broke up with Hope she came to my room pounding on the door wanting to talk, but I didn’t let her in. I am not going to make that mistake again. So I go and open the door this time.

“Hope what are you doing here. You should be with Josie right now.”

“Josie is the one who told me to come here. She said we need closure and that you need me right now. And she is right.”

“Oh…well come on in. We have a lot to talk about.” Of course Josie would arrange this. That girl’s kindness and compassion know no bounds.

“I never wanted you to find out about me and Josie that way. I was planning on tell you.”

“Like I said before you don’t owe me anything when it comes to your dating life. Now let’s sit on the bed this is going to be too long of a conversation to be standing.” We take our seats on the bed just a few inches apart. Closer than we have ever sat in this life, but the memories from another life make these inches between us feel like the Grand Canyon. 

“Ok. I will be honest I have no idea where to start.”

“I don’t either. Maybe we should start with how we left things off in the other world.”

“If I remember correctly you broke up with me and then tried to win me back.”

“I guess in every reality I fuck up the only thing that matters to me.”

“Hey, don’t do that to yourself. You weren’t the only one to fuck up our relationship. I let my fear and paranoia get the better of me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I pulled away. And I did that because one day I saw this girl flirting with you and to me it looked like you were flirting back.”

“Hope I would never even think about cheating on you.”

“I know that. I knew that then too, but I let my worst fears and insecurities take control. And instead of talking to you about it I shut you out. By the time realized how much I had fucked up you had broken up with me.”

“And then we were both to stubborn to admit that we still loved each other.”

“Yeah, so please don’t blame yourself for what happened between us, there is plenty of blame to go around. And while I don’t know exactly what happened between you and Josie, and that is none of my business, I know you both well enough to know you both fucked up.”

“Hope I want you to know that you still mean the world to me. Josie too. And I really am happy for the both of you. Admittedly I want to give you both the shovel talk, but it would be pointless. The two of you have learned from your mistakes with me and aren’t going to mess up this chance at happiness you to have.”

“You still have a piece of my heart, Penny, and you always will. Just like you have a piece of Josie’s. Nothing is ever going to change that. I know you will find your chance at happiness too.” She has her hand on mine and I can feel the goose bumps shooting up my arm from her touch.

“I promise I won’t stop looking for happiness if you promise me that you let yourself be happy with Josie.”

“Deal. And me and Josie will keep the PDA is a minimum for awhile to let you get use to this. Neither of us want to hurt you.”

“Thank you, but y’all don’t have to do that.”

“I know I want to and so will Josie. Now I’m going to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” After Hope leaves the room and I am sure she has gotten out of earshot I curl up in my bed and start crying.

I want to keep my promise to Hope and find happiness, but the truth is I had chance at happiness twice and missed it both times. At least I know now that what me and Hope had in that other world means as much to her as it does to me. Before this week I didn’t think I could love anyone as much as I love Josie, but now I love both of them equally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed this glimpse into Hope and Penelope's lives in the second wish world. More details will be coming in later chapters.


	3. Old Wounds or Fresh Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some memories are harder to deal with than others. We start to get a glimpse into effects of the third wish world has on those who lived it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter is the reason I upped the rating from general to teen and why i added a warning about violence. This won't be the only chapter to cover stuff like this. Also Lizzie will not come off good in this chapter.

Lizzie’s POV

It’s been one month since everything went to shit. Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut? No one would have been able to figure I was the one who created those other worlds. But, I wanted to be noble to own up to my mistake and in doing so it cost me everything. The friendships I was building with Hope and Penelope have crumbled into nothing. Rafael, MG, and my Dad don’t hate me, but they are disappointed and that is so much worse. But, the worst of all is Josie. 

I have barely seen my sister this past month and every time I do someone is with her. She doesn’t sleep in our room anymore and only comes back to get her stuff, which she always does when I’m not there. I knew she would be upset about what I did to Hope, but this is excessive. So this ends today, I have been planning how do get her alone for days. And Josie is almost never alone, but I managed to convince a few classmates to distract Hope and Penelope with questions about whatever, I didn’t really care as long as they bought me time. There she is, it is now or never.

“Josie! We need to talk.” She freezes.

“Go away, Lizzie. I can’t.”

“How are we going to fix this if you won’t talk to me? Hell, you won’t even be in the same room as me.”

“Did you ever think that maybe that is what I need right now. To be as far away from you as possible.” I have never seen her like this. She is stiff as a board and her face is going white. 

“Look, I know what I did was wrong, but how long are you going to be mad at me? You have spent a month hold up in your girlfriend’s room, thanks for telling me by the way. I had to find out from MG.” Her hands are clenched and she is visibly shaking.

“I don’t know! How long is it appropriate to be mad at someone for erasing a person from existence, because they don’t know how to deal with disappointment? Because they were being selfish? And beyond stupid? What did you think that genie want?”

“I…”

“I’m not done! You wanted me to talk so I am going to talk and you are going to shut up and listen! You made the same selfish choice not once, but three times. You fucked with everyone’s lives, because Dad didn’t pick us up from the airport. And now we are all stuck with these other lives in our heads that are just as real as this one.” Josie has never yell at anyone before let alone me. I don’t know what to do.

“Yes, I know I fucked up. I know it was selfish and stupid. And I’m sorry for everything.”

“I’m sorry isn’t going to fix this. I want to know what was so bad about this world and those other worlds that you kept making wishes. I know that Dad didn’t give us enough attention, but we talked about that with Mom. We had a plan in place to work that out. What did you just want a quick fix?”

“Yes.”

“Well you first quick fix left us broke, because you couldn’t be bothered to remember that all of our money comes from the Mikaelsons. Do you realize how many of our classmates never attended in that reality? How many supernatural kids were lost and alone because we couldn’t find them? Because I do.” 

“I never thought.” How had I never thought about them?

“Of course you didn’t. And then when we found Hope you decided to make another wish. You wished the school out of existence. Thank the gods that the Mikaelsons opened a school in our place. Then Dad got invited to be the Headmaster and we were going to finally be able to be ourselves at school. I was about to start something with Hope. What was so bad about that world why didn’t you stop there?”

“You hated me in that world.” How could I live in a world were my sister hates me? That is why I need to fix this. I can’t have Josie hating me.

“I didn’t hate you. I was just tired of spending all of my energy to keep you happy. Why couldn’t you have stopped? Hope’s parents were alive in that world. I know you know that. She told us about her father when she gave us the tour. But, instead of thinking of others you erased Hope. And because of that now all of us knows what war is like.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen. I didn’t know.” How could I possibly know that would happen?

“How much of those worlds do you remember?” I wasn’t expecting that.

“I only remember from when the genie granted the wish. I don’t remember those other Lizzie’s lives. Look, I just want to be sisters again what do I have to do to fix this?”

“There is nothing you can do. Well I you weren’t so great in those worlds either, especially that last one.” 

“How can you blame me for things I don’t even remember doing?”

“Because I remember them! I remember you killing me! Do you want to know what you did?” Gods no. I never want to know that.

“No. Please, I don’t want to know.”

“Well to bad! We had just found out about the Merge. You ran off. I went to our room to try and process. You came back hours later, at first I was so relived to see you. I just wanted my sister, I needed my twin. But then I noticed you weren’t acting like you. I realized that you were having one of your episodes so I did what I always do and tried to pull you out of it.” Tears are pour down her face and I can feel them running down mine as well. 

“Please stop.” She either doesn’t hear me or doesn’t care because she continues.

“I tried everything. I don’t know where you got the magic from, but you knocked me back and started canting. Before I could do anything I heard all the glass in the room shatter and then I felt it shredding me apart. And then nothing.”

Oh gods no wonder she can’t be around me. How could any version of me do that to her? Dad said it was an accident, but it wasn’t I went out and found magic. I knew what I was going to do. I want to say something, but what can I say. Besides she is clearly not done with me yet.

“Do you know how often I wake up screaming, because I expect to be covered in wounds bleeding out in bed? Or that when I look in a mirror I expect to see scars. Do you know how many nights Hope has to hold me while I cry myself to sleep, because all I can see is bodies of my dead friends and of the people I killed. That’s right you’re not the only killer in the room.”

No, Josie can’t be a killer. She cares about others to much to be able to do that. I can’t be the reason that my sister is a killer.

“I have killed more people than I can remember. And I am honestly terrified to go into town. I could run into anyone I killed in that world. I just want to forget about that world. And being with Hope helps, but seeing you. Every time I see you I am right back in that world. Watching you kill me and watching bodies fall on the battlefield. And to be honest I am afraid to be alone with you. To be alone with my murderer.” She storms out of the room. And I can’t bring myself to chase her.

Alaric’s POV

Running this school has always been hard, but it has always been worth it. And now with these other memories in my head I have a new prospective on things. I am more thankful than ever for the huge donation that Klaus gave to the school at the beginning. I had always known that the money was the reason we got the school up and running, but know that I know what this school would have been like without it. Well I have been rethinking some of the curriculum.

My history books are filled with the horrible things that the Mikaelsons have done over the centuries, but I neglected to put anything good about them. The donation to the school is considered a shameful secret. I should know better than anyone that history isn’t black and white, that good people can do evil things and evil people can do good things. Hell I neglected to put that for a thousand years they were hunted by their own father. I should probably talk to Hope about this.

I am interrupted from my thoughts by my doors be slammed open. Not the first time this has happened. Usually it is Lizzie, but today it’s Josie and something is clearly wrong.

“Sweetheart, is everything ok?” She is pacing in front of my desk. Her breathing is heavy and labored. I think she is having a panic attack. So I go over to her and wrap my arms around her. Her knees give out and we sink to the floor at the same time she starts sobbing. I don’t know what to do so I just hold my baby girl in my arms.

We are like this for a few minutes before she says anything. “Lizzie just ambushed me in the common room.” Oh. I was wondering when this was going to happen.

“What happened?”

“She was asking me how long I was going to be mad at her. And I lost it. I told her everything. How selfish it was of her, what war made me do, and how she killed me.”

“Oh baby. I am so sorry that you had to live through all of that. How did your sister take this information?” That was clearly the wrong thing to say.

“Why does everything have to be about her?”

“You know with her being bipolar she needs a little more attention.”

“Yeah I get that, but we over did it. Look what we created. We focused so much on the obvious negative aspects of her condition like the depression and anger that we gave her everything she wanted and we ignored she lack of impulse control and false sense of superiority. And because of that she thinks the world revolves around her.”

“You know that is not true. Remember when the gargoyle attacked she risked her own life to make sure it couldn’t get out into the world.”

“Yeah in a life or death situation she will put others first, but in everyday life everything revolves around her. She erased Hope and killed me are you going to defend that?” I know what Lizzie did was wrong, but she is my daughter I can’t hate her.

“She was having a bad day and the genie took advantage of that. And it wasn’t this Lizzie that killed you that was another Lizzie. And she was having an episode. Lizzie would never harm you on purpose.”

“You think I don’t know she was having an episode. I did everything I could to pull her out of it. But that is where her head went after find out about the Merge. That I was a threat that needed to be dealt with. Do you know what my first thought after the shock wore off?” I can take a guess. “That I was going to let her win.”

“Oh sweetheart.” I tighten my arms around her.

“Her first thought was to kill me and mine was to die for her. I always thought no matter how selfish she acted when it came down to it she would give her life for mine just like I would for her.”

“I’m sure…”

‘’And also we can’t keep blaming everything she does on her being bipolar. Yeah her condition doesn’t help, but plenty of people live there lives with this condition and they don’t throw tantrums every time something doesn’t go their way.”

“We should talk with Emma about this.”

“You can talk to Emma about handling Lizzie, for the time being I am done dealing with Lizzie. And Emma agrees with me that I need space from Lizzie.” If Emma thinks that is what is best for Josie, then I won’t push her do anything with Lizzie.

“Has the therapy been helping?”

“Yeah. Hope’s been a big help too. She’s dealt with trauma before so she doesn’t judge or get annoyed when I break down she just holds me. Penelope has been helpful too making sure I am never alone and always trying to make me laugh.”

“I am really glad you have people in your life that can help you through this. And we haven’t talked about it, but I am really happy that you and Hope are together.”

“It means a lot to me that you approve. And as much as I would love to talk about how happy she makes me, we need to talk about the Merge.” I knew this was coming sooner or later. I had hoped for later.

“How much about the Merge do you remember?”

“That when me and Lizzie turn twenty-two during a celestial event we will have to merge our magics and then we will fall unconscious and whoever wakes up gets everything and the other dies.”

“Yeah that is the main part. Which ever one of you wins not only gets the magic, but also a bit of the other’s personality.”

“What? So who ever wins isn’t completely themselves anymore?”

“Yes.”

“What happens if we don’t do the Merge?”

“You would both die.”

“Why?”

“The Gemini Coven ties their lives to that of their leader. That is why you and your sister are the last of your coven. Your uncle Kai became the leader after merging with your uncle Luke via a loophole and then he killed himself to become a heretic. Which killed the rest of the coven.”

“That is insane. Who thinks that is a good idea? Also what is a heretic?”

“I agree it is insane. Jo didn’t like it either. I never told you and your sister, but your uncle Kai was a siphon too. And when a siphon becomes a vampire they don’t lose the ability to siphon magic.”

“Our uncle was a siphon. And if I became a vampire I would still be able to do magic.”

“Yes and before you ask the reason I never told y’all about your uncle being a siphon is because I didn’t want y’all to know how your grandparents and your coven treated him because he was a siphon.”

“What did they do?”

“They considered him an abomination. And the only reason they didn’t kick him out was because he was in line to be leader. So your grandparents keep having kids until they got another set of twins. In the mean time they threated him horribly and I have no doubt it is what caused him to become a sociopath.”

“So my grandparents would have considered me an abomination.”

“Yes, they would have.”

“Ok I am going to need time to process this. You should know that me and Hope have been talking about what to do about the Merge. And we have been discussing me becoming a vampire to avoid the Merge. And now that I know I will still be able be a witch I want to turn.”

“What! No, you can’t just decide this. Your only sixteen.”

“I didn’t just decide this. Me and Hope have been talking about this all month. We have thought this through and nothing was decided until now. And I don’t plan on doing it for a few more years. Hope will be turning at the same time as well.”

“Ok, let’s talk about this. What is your plan?”

“Sometime after I turn eighteen we will have Hope’s brother Marcel turn me.”

“Why Marcel?”

“Because Marcel is more than a vampire. The only thing that can kill him is a dagger that the Mikaelson have locked away so being of his sire line wouldn’t be a risk. While I wouldn’t have exactly have all of Marcel’s abilities I would be more powerful than a regular vampire.”

“Why not Hope?”

“We thought about that, but I love her and that could cause me to be sire bonded to her. And neither of us want me to be slave to her will. And for the record we haven’t said I love to each other yet, but I do love her.”

“I am happy that you found love, all I want for you is to be happy. You really have thought this through. I have one more question can Marcel sire vampires like him?”

“We don’t know. Hope is going to ask Marcel to test this so we could find out what would happen. If we find out that he can’t I plan on asking Mom to turn me.” I am torn between being worried and proud.

“While I don’t agree with you about this and I will be trying to talk you out of this over the next two years. I am proud of how well you have thought this out.” Before Josie can say anything else my doors burst open.

“Dr. Saltzman have you…Josie! Me and Penny have been looking everywhere for you.” Hope is clearly relieved to find Josie. And since when does Hope call Penelope, Penny?

“Sorry I didn’t mean to worry y’all. I just had a run in with Lizzie and then I needed to talk with my dad. And don’t ask. We can talk about it later.”

“Ok I will let you finish up. I’m going to text Penelope that you are ok. I will be just outside the door.” Hope leaves the room with her phone in her hand.

“Dad can we pick this up later? You have given me a lot to think about.”

“Of course, honey.” I give her a hug as she gets up to leave. Through the open door I can see the soft touch Hope gives her before taking her hand.

When did my daughter grow up? It was just yesterday that she was a little girl. I know the truth is she grew up a long time ago, but I just didn’t see it until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that i know this chapter might come off as Lizzie hate, but i promise that is not my intent. I did a little research on bipolar disorder for this chapter and i hope i handled this issue properly. i myself have some mental health issues and i know first hand how difficult it is growing up with them. And by the end of this fic I do plan on Lizzie fixing her relationships especially with Josie.
> 
> Also fun little bit I have decided to tell y'all the title of the next chapter to see if y'all can figure out what i have planned next. Chapter 4: Calm Beast or Wild Man.


	4. Calm Beast or Wild Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Josie and Lizzie have their fight, two other people bond over unique experiences. And after the fight Hope has a plan to cheer up her girlfriend.

Rafael’s POV

It’s been a month since our world got all twisted up. Everyone is reacting differently. Hope, Josie, and Penelope haven’t really left each other’s side since everything went down. Me and Landon are still close, but sometimes I just need to be alone. My brother in everything but blood just can’t understand sometimes. His life didn’t really change all that much in those other worlds. But, for me each of those worlds was different I learned new things about myself. Some of those things I wish I could unlearn.

“Hey, Raf what are you doing out here?” It’s MG.

“I just needed a few minutes to myself.”

“Oh. Sorry to interrupt I’ll leave.”

“No, you can stay.” I don’t know why I asked him to stay.

“Cool. So what’s on your mind?”

“The same thing that is on all of our minds. My other lives.”

“Yeah, you definitely aren’t the only one think about them. Kaleb won’t shut up about how much of a badass he was at the Mikaelson school and how the vamp curriculum was better. I kind of wish I had gotten to experience that.”

“That’s right you didn’t go to the Mikaelson school. Why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t get turned in that world.” Damn, I wasn’t expecting that.

“In that first world I never triggered my curse.”

“So we both got to see what our lives would have been like as humans. I think we might be the only ones that experienced that. I just wish my human life had happened in that first wish world too.” His head turns downward in shame. I’m not sure if I should ask, but he probably needs to talk about it. Emma says we all need to talk to each other.

“Why is that?”

“I still got turned in that first world, but this time Dr. Saltzman wasn’t there to explain everything and teach me. I don’t know if you know this, but some vampires are more bloodthirsty than others. And I’m one of them. When I drink human blood I just can’t stop. The term for it is Ripper. So named because we have a tendency to rip heads of with our teeth while feeding.”

“So without the school you became a ripper?”

“Yeah. I didn’t really understand what was happening. It was night and I just turned and killed someone. I was scared so I did what any scared kid does I went home. And I didn’t have my keys so I knocked and when my mom answered the door she told me to come in before I catch a cold.” I can see where this is going.

“Hey, I get the picture you don’t have to finish.”

“Thanks. I’ve talked about it a few times in therapy with Emma, but I still can’t get it out of my head. After we got back the first thing I did was call my mom just to hear her voice. We talked for an hour before she needed to start fixing supper.”

“I bet that was nice. Me and Landon we just kind of hung out like nothing had happened after we got back. Just played video games, well until Hope stopped by and her and Landon broke up. Then we spent the rest of the night talking about his break up. And I never said this but he broke down a couple of times and had a few good cries.”

“I’m happy for Hope and Josie, but that had to have been rough for Landon.”

“Yeah, he took it better than I probably would have.”

“Hey, Kaleb’s told me all about the vamp stuff at the Mikaelson school so what was wolf stuff like?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain, but here we learn the history of wolves and we talk about the packs. But, at the Mikaelson school we learned about pack life and about our wolves. Honestly, before I was afraid of shifting of the loss of control. But, now that I know my wolf better I look forward to the shift.”

“From the way you and Kaleb talk it sounds like the curriculum here needs a major overhaul.”

“Yeah, the first thing Dr. Saltzman needs to do is find a wolf teacher who is part of a pack. Wolves that grow up in a pack just have an understanding of what it is to be a werewolf that lone wolves just don’t. Also at some point I should talk to Hope and see if she is willing to be the Alpha like she was in the other life.”

“Wait Hope was the school Alpha there, that is pretty dope.”

“Yeah and she was good too.”

“Hey maybe you and Kaleb could go and talk to Dr. Saltzman together. Between the two of you y’all could probably make some real changes around here.”

“That’s not a bad idea. If Kaleb is down, so am I.”

“Cool, I’ll talk to him about it.” MG goes quiet for a minute. Which has me worried MG is never quiet. Before I can ask him what is wrong he ask me and unexpected question. “In that last world…did you trigger your curse before or after the war started?”

“After.” I’m not sure what to say. The things I did and said before I triggered my curse is something I will never be able to live down. “And before you ask. I was on the humans’ side. I believed every hateful thing being said about the supernaturals. I believed in them so much that I joined the fight. I killed plenty of vampires, before I ended up killing a fellow wolf.”

“I was still human when the war began too. And while I didn’t join up like you or buy into everything I just did nothing. And then one night I was walking home when a group of vamps came out of nowhere. They weren’t looking to kill though they had decided that turning humans was more beneficial. So they turned me. I loss count of how many people I killed before I was captured.”

“I remember hearing about groups of vamps doing that. After I became a werewolf I still didn’t want to help the supernaturals, but the humans wanted to kill me so I went off on my own. For months I thought that the werewolf I killed must have scratched me or something. Triad did a really good job on there misinformation campaign. Learning that I was born a wolf is what made finally join the right side.”

“After I was captured the humans decided the best way to make me pay for my crimes was to tie me to a stake with vervain ropes and wait for the sun to rise. I still remember what it feels like to burn alive. It took me weeks to finally be able to go out into the sun again. And even know I still hesitate.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. My death was pretty quick. Some humans shot me while I was shifting. Hey do you think we will ever be able to make up for what we did while we were still human in that world?”

“I don’t know, but the way I see it we were ignorant kids who believed what the adults told us and what the news told us. We didn’t get all the facts so how could we have made the right decision. Beside that is who we were in another life, not who we are in this one.”

“You got a point.” He makes a good point, maybe who I was is just that who I was. “You know the one thing I can’t figure out is why I didn’t trigger my curse in the first world. I mean what does Hope not going to school have to do with me triggering my curse?”

“Probably a ripple effect, like Flashpoint.”

“Ripple effect? Flashpoint?” MG eyes bug out when I say that.

“Flashpoint as in the comic event that lead to the creation of the New 52 in DC comics.”

“Sorry, man I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Ok so Barry Allen a.k.a. the Flash just learned that he arch enemy the Reverse Flash is the one who killed his mom and framed his dad for her murder and in his anger and grief is runs back in time and stops him from killing his mom. This created a ripple effect changing other events. Instead of Bruce Wayne’s parents being shot he is and Thomas Wayne become Batman. And whole bunch of other stuff changes too.”

“That sounds interesting.” MG is on his feet now just buzzing with excitement.

“Hey if you want I got the comic with me. I also have the animated movie too if you would rather see that.” MG’s enthusiasm is contagious.

“How about I read the comic first then we can watch the movie.”

“Yeah that sounds great. Come on.” He vamps off. I just start walking I figure he will remember I can move as fast as him soon. And sure enough he vamps back a moment later.

“Sorry about that I got a little excited.” I sling my arm over his shoulder and we start to head back to his room.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Me and MG weren’t really all that close before, but now I think we are going to good friends. Emma was right we do need to talk to each other. No one else can really understand what it was like in those other worlds or who we are now because of them.

 

Hope’s POV

After the day Josie has had she could use a pick me up. Between fighting with Lizzie and all the new information her Dad just told her she is understandably upset. And I know just the thing to brighten her day. It takes some convincing, but if finally, was able to talk her into a stroll through the woods at night.

“Hope, can you tell me where are going?”

“No, Jo it’s a secret.”

“Fine, but this better be worth it.”

“Have I ever let you down before?”

“No, but still.”

“Have a little faith we are almost there.” I can see the clubhouse already.

“Wait are you taking me to the clubhouse? Why?”

“Wow, being patient is not one of your strong suits.”

“I’m just worn out, Hope. I am sure whatever you have planned is romantic, but honestly I just kind of want to go to sleep right now.” We finally arrive at the clubhouse.

“Ok then I guess we can go back I’ll just show you my wolf another time.” That gets her attention.

“Your wolf. Is that safe?”

“Yes, I promise you are going to be fine. Just trust me and turn around please. That is unless you want to see me naked.” I give her a wink as I start to get undressed. She turns around with a deep blush on her face.

“Don’t tempt me.”

“Ok, so I am going to go over there and shift. Now you are going to hear some things and just want you to remember that I will be fine. I am also going to run a little first. Not long, but you should probably get comfortable.” She nods her head.

No matter how many times I shift that first break always hurts the most. This time it is my right leg. As my bones continue to break I remember what my father told me about letting the pain come and not to fight it. And in almost no time the shift is complete. I turn around and face Josie. I give a bark to let her know to turn around. I look her in the eyes for a few moments before I catch the scent of a rabbit and start to run.

With every shift I become close with my wolf. And while I am still not fully in control neither is my wolf. Instead it is like we are both in control working together. As we run it not just my wolf that enjoys the chase. And that is all night will be just the chase. I don’t want blood on my snout when I go back to Josie. My wolf wants to eat, but she is willing to for go a meal for Josie. After awhile we decide to return to Josie. Josie is sitting on the stairs waiting for us.

“Hope. You look beautiful.” She seems nervous, but not scared. I slowly approach her. “I always wondered what your wolf looked like. Your fur reminds me of fresh snow.” She slowly reaches her hands out. I nuzzle my head into her hand.

She starts to pet me and I can’t describe how it feels. It is like when she runs her fingers through my hair, but multiplied by a thousand. We stay like this for at least an hour. At one point she starts rubbing my belly and honestly I could die from how happy it makes me feel. I wish we could stay like this all night, but Dr. Saltzman would throw a fit if we did that. So I get up and walk behind a wall and shift back.

After getting dress I turn to Josie. “So do you feel any better?”

“Hope, that was amazing. Your fur was thicker than I expected and so deep my hand just got lost in it. Thank you for sharing this part of you with me.”

“I have been wanting to share this with you for awhile now. You’re the first person I have ever shown my wolf to.”

“Really. I thought Landon saw your wolf.”

“That doesn’t count he was outside while I was running. I almost killed him.”

“Did you show Penelope in the other world?” There is no hint of jealous in her voice or on her face, just an honest question.

“Penelope did see my wolf and yes we had nights like this, but the first time she saw my wolf wasn’t by choice. A couple of my dad’s enemies thought they could get to me by attacking Penelope and I shifted and killed them. They were all vampires so I didn’t outright kill them, I let my venom do the work.” I can see the rage on her face at the idea that someone would try to hurt Penelope.

“I’m glad they suffered. And if they are still alive in this world and we run into them let me know so I can make them pay.”

“Let’s at least let them provoke us first. It shouldn’t be too hard.” We both start laughing.

“Hope did you know it would be safe, because you didn’t hurt Penelope?”

“Yeah, I figured out that when I’m in love with someone that my wolf is too and we could never hurt someone we love.” I am afraid I have said too much. That it is too soon to tell her. That I have just fucked up this magical night.

“Are you saying that you love me?”

“Yes. Every part of me loves you. My wolf loves you enough to give up a meal so we wouldn’t have blood on our snout.”

“I love you too. And l love your wolf. And a little blood won’t change that.” I pull her in for a deep kiss. We continue for what feels like forever, but really was only a few minutes.

“Let’s head back before someone catches us.” We start walking by to our room while holding hands and having as much contact as possible.

“Hope, I have been meaning to ask you something for awhile now, but it has never felt like the right time.”

“You can always ask me anything, Jo.”

“What was it like having both of your parents?” I have been wanting to tell her about that for awhile as well. I just wanted to focus on her. With the nightmares and the panic attacks that happen every time a piece of glass breaks it has never seemed like the right time. I have been quiet for too long she is starting to panic. “I’m sorry, I over stepped. Just for get about it.”

“No, it is ok. I have been wanting to tell you. I should probably start with why my dad and I didn’t have to be separated. Back when I was two in this world my Aunt Davina died and we could have brought her back, but my family was facing a powerful enemy and the only way they could defeat him was to use Davina’s spirit as a link to the ancestors. The ancestors hated Davina for siding with my family so when my Aunt Freya used her as link the ancestors found her and destroyed her.”

“So that didn’t happen in the other world?”

“No it did. And just like in this world my brother Marcel who saw Davina as a daughter was angry. He got his hands on a serum that would make him like our enemy. Make him into the Beast. More powerful than an Original and with a bite that can kill an Original. What changed was what happened on the bridge.”

“What happened on the bridge?”

“Most of it played out the same. My dad trying to talk my brother out of taking revenge of being like him. Uncle Elijah still tried rip out Marcel’s heart, but this time dad saw him coming and stopped him. And then when he found out Marcel had taken the serum. My dad was happy. Told him to finish the transformation. You see my dad had already lived through losing him once and he couldn’t do it again.”

“So did Marcel become the Beast?”

“Yes, but of biting Elijah and imprisoning dad. My dad talked him into banishing Elijah for his part in what happened to Davina and for trying to kill Marcel. And Freya would be banished until she could find away to bring Davina back. It took her five years, but she found away to bring her back. She still found Keelin and fell in love with her.”

“So the Hollow never got free and you got to spend your whole life with your family?”

“Yeah, well minus Elijah. And without Elijah, my parents slowly found their way to each other. I was 10 when they got together. Oh also another difference Cami was alive in that world too. She was someone special to my dad that became important to the whole family.”

“I wonder why everything changed so much. The events your talking about happened around the time I was born and my parents were three years away from even thinking about opening the school.” She makes a good point. I honestly have no idea why everything was so different in that world, but I am glad it was.

“I don’t know, but I am glad it did. Since I didn’t have to hide who I was in that world it allowed me to explore myself and figure out that I’m a lesbian. Got to know my dad better than I could have ever dreamed.”

“I’m glad you got to have that.” Her soft smile makes me melt inside. We have reached school now and we sneak back to our room. And I can’t help but think of how grateful I am of that second wish world. I just wish that the third one never existed. That the woman I love never had to go through all that trauma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I meant to have this done Monday, but I got called into work and the rest of the week was crazy. So as we get new episodes I will try to add info from them into this story if I can. But, that being said somethings will not get added. For example the fact that Josie started the divide between Hope and Lizzie won't make into this story, but the note and the fire will. Also I will be ignoring 1x13 completely. I might throw in the fact that MG's dad doesn't know about him being a vampire. Landon will not be a Phoenix in this story. 
> 
> Next Chapter title: Thinking Out Loud or Talking Quietly


	5. Thinking Out Loud or Talking Quitely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes are still dealing with the after effects of remembering things they were never suppose to remember. So a little therapy might just go along way.

Landon’s POV

It’s been two months since I remembered meeting my mother. To say I have been handle it well would be a bit of an exaggeration. I mean how is one suppose to handle meeting their mother only to have the memories erased. And then remembering her to realize that by destroying Malivore we killed her. I guess that is why I am in therapy. I should probably start talking to Emma before this session is over.

“So I have been thinking about how when we destroyed Malivore we also killed my mother.” That I killed my mother.

“Landon, you had no idea your mother was in there. You can’t blame yourself.” But, I do and I don’t.

“I know that. I want to blame Hope. She knew, but I can’t.”

“I’m not saying you should, but why can’t you blame her?”

“She didn’t mean to kill my mother. It was, destroy Malivore or the end of the world. We had no way to get her out.”

“So you have forgiven Hope for not telling you about your mother?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. Can we not talk about this?” Forgiving Hope is complicated. I want to, but I can’t yet.

“Ok, then we will come back to that later. What would you like to talk about?”

“I don’t know; do you have any suggestions?”

“We haven’t talked about the night y’all came back. We haven’t talked about your break up with Hope or her revelation about her sexuality.”

“There isn’t really much to talk about. Hope came by my room to break up with me, because she figured out she is gay. I was going to break up with her in the morning anyway.”

“Because she kept the information about your mother from you?”

“Yeah, I was so mad about that. Still kind of am, but… We circled back didn’t we.”

“Yes, we did. Again we don’t have to talk about this today. So, how did Hope breaking up with you, because of her sexuality make you feel. From what I can tell you handled it well.”

“I couldn’t be angry with her about that. She didn’t lead me on or use me as beard or anything like that. She just didn’t know that about herself yet. Can we not talk about Hope anymore?” Part of me still loves her probably always will. But, I can’t really think about her right now. Because my thoughts just keep drifting back to when we were happy and she was lying to me about my mother.

“Of course. Maybe we can discuss the memories of your mother.”

“I didn’t really get to know her. I barely got a day with her and I was drugged for part of it.” By her. The irony of that isn’t lost on me.

“So tell me what you do remember.”

“She loved me. Loved me enough to give me away and to sacrifice herself for me. So that Triad would never know me. Not that it worked.”

“How do you feel about the fact she gave you up, even to save you?”

“How am I suppose to feel about that?” Because, honestly I don’t know how I’m suppose feel about any of this.

“There is no suppose to, just what you feel.”

“I feel angry and grateful and sad and about a billion other things. It keeps shifting from being angry to grateful and then sad. Angry about the life we could have had together that we didn’t. Grateful for the life I did have. And sad about both.”

“That makes perfect sense, Landon. This is a beyond complicated situation. Meeting your birth mother would be complicated for any kid in the foster system. But to find out that she gave you up not because she wanted to, but because she had to. I imagine that is a dream every kid in the system has at some point.”

“I won’t lie the thought crossed my mind from time to time when I was younger. To find out that it wasn’t just the fantasy of a lonely child. I can’t really describe how it felt. I had her even if it was just for a short time I had her back.” And then I lost her again.

“And forgetting her?”

“It isn’t the forgetting part that hurts. It’s the remembering. She erased herself so that Triad wouldn’t hunt me down, but they still did anyway. She died for nothing.”

“She didn’t die for nothing, Landon. She gave her life for you. To give you the chance to have a life. You’re still here. You still get to live your life how you want to. That is not nothing.”

“Maybe.” But, we still could have had a life together.

“Our time is up, but I want you to think about her, what she did for you, and why. And by next session I want a different answer than maybe.”

“Thank you, Emma.”

“And remember I am always here if you need to talk.”

“Of course. See you next week.” No matter how many time we do this Emma always has a way of making think about things in a new light. Granted that is her job. I’m glad I keep coming every week. Who knows maybe one day it won’t need to be every week. It will be once a month and then once every two months. Until I don’t need therapy anymore. Doesn’t mean I will be fixed or better or any nonsense like that, but maybe I will be able to manage my demons on my own.

 

Emma’s POV

Landon has just left. That, maybe, haunts me a little. While I don’t think he is suicidal, I will be keeping an eye on him until next session. Answers like that are why I always schedule ten minutes between appointments. Time to clear my head and focus on my next patient. Granted I might have an extra hour if the trend with my next patient continues. She hasn’t been keeping her appointment since the second session. I pushed a little too hard and she hasn’t come back since. But, I have been keeping an eye on her. She is doing better than I expected, but I don’t think she is talking to anyone. 

It is times like this that I wish I wasn’t the only therapist at this school. It is a daunting task being in charge of the mental health of a school full of supernatural kids. Most of which just got thrown into this world without any warning. From what I have gathered about the other worlds at the Mikaelson school I wasn’t the only therapist.

There were four of us. One for each of the factions and then our boss. A doctor by the name of Camille O’Connell. Personal therapist and friend of the Mikaelsons. I asked Hope about her and learned that she was murdered in the world.

My thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my door. I walk over and open the door to find Penelope Park on the other side.

“Miss Park. It is good to see you. Come on in.” I am surprised to see her, but glad that she finally came.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t been here in awhile.”

“It is ok, I pushed too much in our last session. I will try to not make that mistake again.”

“I shouldn’t have freaked out. And I still don’t want to talk about that third world. About the war or losing Josie.”

“That is fine. What would you like to talk about?” The fact that she came today must mean that something is weighing on her.

“That second world.”

“Anything specific you have in mind?” It’s odd that she wants to talk about the second world from what I remember from our previous sessions she attended the Mikaelson school. And for the most part everyone seems to have good memories associated with that world.

“I had a girlfriend in that world. One that means as much to me as Josie does.”

“Now you don’t have to tell me who she, but can you answer me this. Does she go to this school?”

“She does.”

“And you still love her?”

“Yes. And I still love Josie. I still love both of them.”

“So you are having trouble separating your feelings?”

“No.”

“You know loving two people at once isn’t unusual or a problem. I imagine the problem lies in the fact that she doesn’t remember being your girlfriend.”

“That isn’t the problem. It’s Hope. Hope was my girlfriend.” That I did not expect. But, then again I have seen Penelope spending a great deal of time with Hope and Josie. I just figured Penelope was just there to be around Josie, but now it seems it was to be near both of them.

“Oh. So the problem is that she is dating Josie.”

“Yes. Part of me wants to be selfish and break them up. But, I don’t even know which one I want to win back. But, the other part of me just wants them to be happy.”

“Well I am proud that you haven’t been listening to that selfish part of yourself. Breaking them up would only end in heartbreak for everyone involved.” She has made remarkable improvement on curving her more selfish desires on her own.

“I know that. For once I am choosing to be selfless. The only heart that is being broken is mine. Can you help me? I want to be able to see them together with being in pain. Josie needs me and so does Hope. I won’t abandon them because I can’t handle seeing them together.”

“Of course I will help you, but not so that you can help them. My worry is about you. While I think it is noble that you want to put them first. My job is put your well being above other people in your life.”

“Ok. So what do I do?”

“That is the hard part. We should probably start with how each of them make you feel.”

“I love them.”

“I know that. What I am asking is can you tell me how you love them. Be specific.”

“Josie is so kind and selfless. She makes me want to be better not only for her, but for myself. She sees me for who I am and who I could be.”

“And Hope?”

“Being loved by a Mikaelson is like nothing else in this world. She loves with her whole being. She gives every bit of herself to those she loves and all she wants in return is to be loved. She makes me feel important.”

“It sounds like you have them both on a pedestal. You realize that they are both human and can make mistakes right?”

“I know that. Hope is prone to jealousy and paranoia. And Josie loves everyone so much that her attention can be divided at best. I have talked with both of them about our break ups. We all know we played our parts.”

“So you have talked with both of them. Have you asked if they could tone down the PDA when you’re with them?”

“I walked in on them during their first kiss. That is when Josie found out about me and Hope in the other world. Hope came by my room later that night and we had a talk. She told me they would be careful around me. That they didn’t want to hurt me.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“It hurt, but it didn’t at the same time. I felt so loved by them. It hurt to know that even after I broke both of their hearts they still care that much about me.”

“When relationships fall apart due to lack of communication the love doesn’t go away. They probably both still love you. It might not be the same anymore, but they still love you.”

“When will it change for me. Because it hurts to still love them both this much.”

“I don’t know Penelope. It might never change or it might change in a month there is no way to tell. You just have to give it time.”

“So that is your great advice. Some fortune cookie bullshit about time heals all wounds.” She is starting to get mad and if I don’t do something she might never seek my help or anyone’s again.

“No, that is not what I am saying exactly.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“That while yes it will take time, you don’t have to suffer. You need to figure out what would make you happy. So what would make you happy?” I suspect I know what her answer will be, but I don’t know if she knows yet.

“Being with them made me happy. I just want to be with them again. But, I can’t break them up and even if I did who would I choose?” She is almost there. She just needs permission to allow herself to consider it.

“Maybe you don’t have to break them up to be with them again.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know there are plenty of people in this world who find their happiness in being with more than one person. That are at their happiest when they love two people and are loved by them in return. I am talking about polyamory.”

“You think that a relationship between me, Hope, and Josie could work? That they would want that?”

“I don’t know if they would want that or if it would work. But, it is a possible solution to your situation. They love each other and you love both of them. And from what you have told me they both still love you. At the very least they did love you.”

“You really think it is possible?”

“I think it is worth the risk. The question is, do you?” This is it she will either take the chance or she won’t. I hope she does.

“I think so.”

“Good, then when your ready I suggest you take that risk. And how ever it turns out I will be here to help you through it.”

“Thank you. I have some planning to do. I will see you next week.” She is out the door before I can say anything else. I really hope that this works out for Penelope, because if it doesn’t I am worried about the fallout. But, from what Penelope has told me and from what Hope and Josie have told me I think there is a chance for them to all find happiness.

I can’t believe I never figured out that the girl Hope was talking about was Penelope. It all makes sense now. I just have to be careful to not reveal I know about that in my session with Hope this week. Who know by then they could all be in a loving relationship. For their sake I hope so. These kids have had to deal with so much at such a young age. They deserve a little peace and happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I hope y'all enjoyed this. I have been looking forward to writing this chapter for a while now.
> 
> And to address 1x14 so of course Penelope never left. And also she never spied on the whole school with those pens. Because that was just so wrong. Which means she never knew about the Merge until the memories from the third world came back. Not sure what from the episode i will keep. MG's mom is not Triad in this fic. Also Roman will not be appearing in this fic. Because Nazi vampires have no place in this fic.
> 
> Next Chapter: Never Apart or Always Together


	6. Never Apart or All Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling like you are the outsider in a group of friends in never easy. Two of our heroes find out that they might not be as much of an outsider as they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: in the previous chapter i originally had Emma say Polygamy but i meant Polyamory. This has been changed. The mistake was pointed out by NoahMayfair. 
> 
> Ok so sorry for the long wait. I hope this chapter is worth the wait for y'all.
> 
> A special thanks to LizSaltzman16 for helping with the first two paragraphs. I was having such a hard time getting Kaleb's voice down and they were a big help.
> 
> Also a thanks to JoMikaelson for reviewing the chapter for me.

Kaleb’s POV

It’s been two and half months since Malivore was destroyed and I can’t help but think about my other lives. It might sound weird, but I feel this pull toward Jed. In this life we never got along with him being the former alpha and me as the leader of the vampires, but in two of those worlds he was my best friend. We fought side by side whether with Hope as our leader or on our own trying to survive a war that we were too young to have any business being apart of.

That is not the only friendship that is different since everything went down. While me and MG are still hommies, lately him and Rafael have been closer. And I don’t know were I stand anymore. I know that I am still part of the super squad and that MG ain’t going to abandon me. But, with how everything has changed I just feel more alone than ever.

“Yo, Kaleb!” As if thinking about him summoned him. MG is walking toward me with that goofy grin on his face.

“Hey, man. What’s up?”

“Nothing. I have been looking for you.” I raise an eyebrow at that.

“Is everything ok? Are the monsters back? Triad?”

“No, everything is fine. I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out with me, Raf, and Landon tonight.”

“Oh. Yeah that sounds like fun.”

“Hey, are you ok? You seem a little out of it. And definitely on edge.”

I consider lying to him, but Emma tells me I need to open up. “Not really. That fucking war in the last world has fucked me up pretty bad.”

“Yeah I think that world messed up all of us. Do you want to talk about it?” For a second a considered ending the conversation but I need to talk to someone that was there that knows what I have been through.

“I got turned right before the war started. And for a little while life as a vamp was great. Top of the food chain, I could run a mile in a second, and forever looking this good was definitely a pro. But, then the war started.”

“And everything went to shit.” That is the understatement of the century.

“Yeah. I was on the run. By myself. Any group of human larger than four was to much of a risk to take on. And the humans knew this. Most of them were in groups of ten. Armed to the teeth. I would have died a lot sooner if it wasn’t for Jed.”

“Jed? You two knew each other in that world?”

“Yeah. I was got stupid one night. I hadn’t had a drop of blood in days. I was half mad with thirst so I took a risk and took on a group of six humans. I thought I had them too for a second. But I was wrong. I was seconds away from being staked when I heard this howl. I hadn’t even realized it was a full moon until that moment.”

“I am guessing the wolf was Jed.”

“Yeah I didn’t know that at the time. The howl distracted the humans long enough for me to get away and then Jed came out of nowhere and tore into the four remaining humans. For a second I thought I was going to be next, but war does crazy things. Makes old enemies into allies. Jed headed toward the woods. And I drained as much blood as I could from the corpuses. Got a few bottles of worth of blood to save for later too.”

“And after that you and Jed stuck together?”

“We were inseparable. Granted at first we put on a whole act of putting up with each other because it was smarter to team up than go it alone. But after a few weeks we actually became friends. We made our way to the resistance and not long after that world ended.”

“So you and Jed were friends. I won’t lie that is hard to picture.” That makes me laugh. Been awhile since I had a good laugh.

“You’re telling me. Would you believe that wasn’t the only wish world where we were friends?”

“You are shitting me. Which one?”

“The second. Jed was Hope’s second in the pack and I was leader of the vamps so we got to be on that world’s super squad. Oh and you will love this. We had super suits.”

“No. You have to be joking. Raf never mention that part. I can’t believe I missed that. What are the odds that we could convince Dr. Saltzman to let us have super suits?” MG is literally bouncing at the idea of having a super suit.

“hahahaha. No. Just no. While I of course looked good in them. I never want to wear them again. That are not the most comfortable things to wear.”

“Come on please. Talk to Hope. I am sure if the two of you ask Dr. Saltzman will ok it.”

“Sorry, man. Never again.”

“I will wear you down eventually.”

“You are more than welcome to try.” This feels like the old days. Before destroying Malivore. “Hey I forgot to ask what are we doing tonight anyway?”

“Movie night. I wasn’t sure what the theme was going to be, but now it is definitely going to be superheroes.”

“And it wasn’t going to be before?” He tries to pretend like I have offended him by pointing out how much of a nerd he is.

“No, I have other interest. I was thinking horror or comedy, but now it is going to be superheroes.”

“Fine, but next time I pick the theme.”

“Deal. Hey if you want you can invite Jed. Try and rekindle the spark.” I know MG meant that as a joke, but I would be lying if the thought of me and Jed being something more hadn’t crossed my mind a few times in that last world.

“How am I suppose to approach him? In this life we have only ever been on opposite sides. He doesn’t know about the other worlds or what we had.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t going to be weird, but you should try. If you two got along in two of the three wish world, why not this world too?”

“Ok, but should I tell him about his other lives?”

“Well that is up to you. Look at it this way the whole school knows a little about what went down. They know we have these other memories. He is probably curious about his other lives. Wouldn’t you be?”

“Yeah I would. I’ll invite him to guys’ night and feel it out from there.”

“Sounds like a plan. And it might not be exactly guys’ night. I am going try and invite Penelope. She has been out of it these last two weeks. I figured she could use some company.”

“She isn’t going to be hanging out with Hope and Josie. I almost never see those three apart.”

“I think she might be avoiding them. I’m not sure I am going try and find out.”

“Ok. So where are we watching the movie?”

“My room. Everyone else is already there so go find Jed and head up there. I will be up soon.”

“Ok.” MG heads off to find Penelope and I go to find Jed. I have no idea how I am going to convince him to watch a movie with us. Granted I could probably get Rafael to order him to. No, I want him to come because he wants to. I hope we can be friends in this life. Who knows maybe without a war hanging over our heads I might get to find out if we can be more.

Penelope’s POV

It’s been two weeks since Emma dropped a bomb on my life. The idea seems simple enough in theory. I love both Josie and Hope. They both use to love me. They love each other. So in theory the three of us together in a romantic relationship should be possible. But putting that theory into practice is proving more difficult than I thought.

In truth I am afraid. Do I think that Josie and Hope would hate me and never talk to me again for putting the idea out there? No, but I don’t know if I can handle the rejection. They have no reason to trust me. I already broke both of their hearts. And yes I know that it wasn’t just my fault those relationships, but I still played my part.

“Hey, P!” MG bouncing up with that stupid smile of his interrupts me from my thoughts.

“No.”

“What I didn’t even ask anything yet.”

“My no was to the nickname. It sounds like you are saying ‘Pee’. And I would rather not have people think of piss when they think of me.”

“That’s fair. Well I can’t call you Pen that is Josie nickname for you. So how about Penny?” Great now I am thinking about Josie and Hope again.

“No. Only Hope gets to call me that.”

“Sorry. I will come up with something. And since when does Hope call you that?”

“Since we dated in the second wish world.” His jaw drops. I guess Josie and Hope kept their word to not tell anyone about mine and Hope’s past relationship. Granted I didn’t think they wouldn’t.

“You and Hope dated!?” I clamp my hand over his mouth.

“Yes. Now be quite I don’t want everyone to know my business.”

“Of course. Sorry, I just didn’t see that coming. Well, I guess I should have. You have been spending a lot of time with Hope and Josie.”

“You really didn’t have any idea that anything was going on?”

“I mean we all noticed the amount of time you have been spending with them. But, with everything going on with Lizzie and Josie we figured that Josie needed you and Hope wasn’t going to get in the way of anything that helps Josie.”

“Well that is part of it. After getting all those memories none of us were really ok. And we just sort of stuck together. It helped.”

“That’s good. If it has been helping, then why haven’t I seen you with them these last couple of weeks?” I hoped he wouldn’t ask me that. I want to brush him off, but he might be able to help me.

“I have something I want to ask them, but I don’t know how.”

“What do you want to ask them?”

“I want to ask them out.”

“Both of them?”

“Yes, both of them. I have no desire to break them up. I love them both too much to be so selfish.”

“Sorry I didn’t think you would. I just wanted to make sure I heard you right. So what gave you this idea?”

“Emma. I started going to therapy again and when I brought up my problem of being in love with them, Emma suggested asking them out.”

“Wow. I never thought about the three of y’all together before, but now that I think about it it makes sense.”

“I am glad that you approve. So any ideas on what I should do?” I hope he can come up with something. Because I have no idea what to do.

“Well you could just ask them out.”

“Well that is easier said than done.”

“Why?”

“Because what if they say no?” I feel small voicing this out loud. MG seems to notice this because he puts his arm around me.

“I don’t think they will. I have seen how they are around you. They clearly love you. And even if they do say no. They won’t abandon you.”

“I know they won’t, but I don’t know if I can handle the rejection. It hurts being around them. And I have been dealing with it by thinking about being with them. So if they say no then I don’t know how I am going to handle it.”

“Hey, listen to me. You are one of the strongest people I know. You can survive it if they reject you. And that is a big if.”

“Thank you. You know I might not treat you like it, but you are my best friend. You know that right.”

“Hey, you’re my best friend too. Now go get your girls. And if you need some comfort after. Me and the guys are watching a movie night in my room and you are more than welcome to come. In fact, that is what I came over here to ask.”

“That sounds like fun. But, don’t wait up on me just in case.”

“Noted. I am rooting for you.” We go our separate ways. I am still nervous but MG is right I can do this. And even if things go bad I can survive it.

It doesn’t take long to get to their room. Well Hope’s room, but it is their room now. I only stand at the door for a few minutes before I knock.

“Who is it?” That’s Hope. This is it I could just run. Go to MG’s and watch a movie with the boys, but no I need to do this.

“It’s me, Penelope. Can I talk to y’all?” I hear the lock on the door click and I take it as an invitation. I see them on the bed close together, but I can tell they were closer just a moment ago.

“Hey, Pen what’s up?”

“I need to ask y’all a question.”

“Why do you seem so nervous, Penny? You know you can ask us anything.”

“Because what I am about to ask is going to change everything.” I have their full attention. They are off the bed and by side in seconds. Hope is on my right and Josie on my left. Both of them have a hand on the arm closest to them. Their touch is soothing. Hope speaks first.

“Hey whatever it is it won’t change how much we love you. So just take a breath and ask us.”

“Ok, but please let me finish talking for either of y’all say anything. Please.” They look at each other and Josie answers.

“Of course.” The sit on the edge of the bed waiting for me to speak.

“So since everything changed. Since getting these memories of other lives I have felt off. Like I am incomplete. Granted I haven’t felt whole since I ruined things with Josie.” I see Josie about to say something, but I wave her off. “But this feels different. Well not that different.” Gods I am starting to ramble. Focus Penelope.

“Sorry I am not explaining this well. You see I only feel complete when I am with the two of you. And I was talking with Emma and she floated this idea.”

“You started seeing Emma again?”

“Jojo.”

“Sorry I will shut up.”

“Yes I started seeing Emma again. I thought I could deal with all of this on my own, but I was wrong. And I am glad I went to Emma, because I never would have let myself think this was a possibility. That it was even an option.” Just get to the point already. Delaying this isn’t going to make it any better.

“What I want to ask y’all is…would the two of you like to be in a relationship with me?” Their eyes go wide for a second. Granted that second feels like an hour. And then they look at each other. And time seems to slow down again.

“Pen. We aren’t saying no, but we aren’t saying yes either.” Josie’s words simultaneously fill me with dread and hope.

“Penny, we are going to need some time to think about this. Clearly you have had some time to think. So that is all we are asking of you. To give us some time. Is that ok?”

“Of course. Take as long as y’all need. I am going to leave you two to talk.”

“Pen. No matter what we decide please know that we still love you.”

“I love y’all too.” I leave them to talk. I feel lighter like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No matter what happens I tried and they won’t stop loving me even if it isn’t the way I wish they would. And who knows I still might get my wish.

I decided to take MG up on his offer of movie night. I head over to MG’s room. When I get their I decide to forgo knocking. And enter in true Penelope fashion.

“Alright bitches what lame movie have you losers picked out?” When MG said the guys he wasn’t kidding. Rafael, Landon, Kaleb, and Jed. Ok I did not see Jed coming.

“Penelope just in time we are between three movies so you get to pick. Wonder Woman, Aquaman, or Shazam.” Of course it is superheroes it’s MG.

“Well admittedly I am torn between two plus hours of Gal Gadot or Jason Momoa. But I am in the mood for something feel good. And Shazam definitely wins in that category.”

“Well get comfortable. I will be right back with a boat load of popcorn.” As MG goes to make the popcorn Rafael stands up too.

“Let me help you with that.” That is curious. Rafael seems almost shy. Granted that isn’t the only strange thing about this group. Kaleb and Jed are getting along so that tops the list. I take a place next to Landon.

“What’s up troll?”

“I thought I was a hobbit?”

“That’s Lizzie’s insult. I like to have a different repertoire than her.”

“Well Hobbit really isn’t much of an insult. I mean they were the heroes.” I snort at that.

“Whatever you say.” MG and Rafael make it back with the popcorn a few minutes later. And as the movie starts I look around the room. These dorks might be clueless but I don’t really have a leg to stand on that front. And anyway they are my dorks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for the wait. I had the worst case of writers block and then the summer started and work picked up.
> 
> Don't worry Phosie is coming soon. And also this fic does not end with Phosie getting together. We will get to see them go on dates and watch them figure out how their relationship works. I actually have no idea how long this fic is going to be.
> 
> Next Chapter title: Complicated Questions or Simple Answers.


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